Mark 9:24

We signed the lease for our new apartment on Thursday, May 1st.  We started moving in on Friday when Chris got home from work.

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He was thankful for this new job, and that day, he was told that the boss was thinking about making him manager of the technicians.  They told him who he would be working with the following week, and Chris was feeling good about everything.

On Monday, I was sitting in our bedroom unpacking some things and up the stairs walks Chris.  It was only around 1:00, and I thought that maybe they didn’t need to work as long that day.  He told me that they told him they didn’t need him anymore.  He asked why, and the boss said that he wasn’t going to talk about.  I can’t even imagine how my husband was feeling, but I feel like I was punched in the gut.  I wanted to vomit.  How could this be happening again?

My first thought was of Chris.  My heart was breaking for him.  My second thought was of the boys.  They have really struggled with so many things over the past few months, and it made me ill to think of telling them about yet another change.  Would they blame God?  How would they feel?

My third thought was “oh no! We just signed a one year lease!!”  I simply could not wrap my mind around what was happening.  Why didn’t this happen on Friday, before the owner signed our lease agreement?  How were we going to get the money to pay next month’s rent?  How are we going to make it?

Even though we felt like we had “nothing” when we lived with my parents, we realized very quickly that we still had the “crutches” of my parent’s home, the washer and dryer that we could use whenever we wanted, the fact that they supplied toilet paper, toothpaste and shampoo.  Now, we were very much without those crutches, and feeling very weak.

For me, some of the crutches that have been removed over the past several months are a steady job, a church family, a home, family and friends, familiar culture and weather, health insurance and the ability to buy our own food, a workable budget.  My own washer and dryer.

These things have been removed, and God is asking me to lean completely on Him.  This is not easy.

Especially today.

I sat down to figure out if we could get a cheap, used washer and dryer.  I figure we are either going to spend the money at the laundromat or on our own appliances.  I just wanted to see if we could swing it.

I probably shouldn’t have tried to figure anything out.  There is no way that I will be able to make any sense of this, or figure anything out.  It is out of my hands.  The only thing I have to lean on is the One who promises to meet our every need.

I am desperately in need of Him to work in my heart.

“Lord, I believe;  help my unbelief!!  

{God’s perfect timing…as I finish up this post, “Blessings” by Laura Story just came on.  I’m gonna post this, and then crank up the volume and listen to these words while I put supper on the table for my family.}

 

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Author: Nichole

There are so many things about life that I want to share with my children, and this is simply my way to collect everything in one place.

1 thought on “Mark 9:24”

  1. Dear Nichole, I have been thinking of and praying for you and your family ever since I met you at my daughters’ (Shari Miller) house. I wish I could just fix everything and make it alright. God is good ALL the time as you know. Your reference to “I believe, Lord, help my unbelief..” is a scripture that I whisper to God very regularly. In our heart of hearts we know that He is mindful of us and not taking a nap while we go through our trials. We just don’t always see the sense of it at the time. Another prayer that is a regular one for me is, “…God help me to be as cheerful when my trials come as I am when the blessings flow…” I must add though, that I have never been through the same trials you are facing. I will continue to lift all of you up in my prayers. Consider yourself hugged. Love, Kathy Miller

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