In His Presence…

Do you ever struggle to read your Bible on a daily basis?  Do you wonder what you are supposed to read?  How to make what you read apply to what you are going through at the moment?  Do you ever wonder why you need to be in God’s Word?  Where and when you are supposed to have your “devotions”?  What’s the big deal, anyway?

So do I.

There are times that I struggle to make reading His Word a priority.  I don’t know where to start reading.  How in the world do certain passages apply to my life?  I think that the enemy likes to overwhelm us with these questions, and then we just spin our wheels without ever moving forward.

But, the more time I spend in God’s Word, the more He gives me answers to all of these questions.  The more I persevere, the more precious His Word-the Bible-becomes to me.

Over the next few weeks, I am going to have my quiet time right here on my blog.  And I’ve asked several friends to be guests here, just to show the many different ways in which people can have their quiet time, their devotions, their time with the Lord.  It isn’t like math, where there is one answer, and certain rules you need to follow to get the answer.  This is a relationship-talking to and listening to God, the One who created us, died for us-the One who loves us.  He has things to show us, things to say to us, and what He asks is that we show up, looking for Him.

So, I am hoping that as you see into this girl’s heart, you will be encouraged to keep pressing on, and that you will see that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to have your “quiet time”.   We just need to get into God’s Word and ask Him to teach us.  If you are at a place that you don’t know what to read, please read along with me.  I am using the Life Journal reading plan from YouVersion.

Disclaimer:  This is my personal quiet time, and I am not going to edit my words or my sentences.  Honestly, I am a little nervous about putting my heart “out there”, but I believe that is what God is wanting me to do right now.   The only difference between this and my normal quiet time is that I am using my blog to journal.  So, with that said…

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Sunday, February 3, 2012  10:29am

Lord, I am nervous about this blogging thing.  I felt so sure that you wanted me to do this a couple of weeks ago, and now I am just nervous.  How can I be encouraging to anyone?  I remember Mr. Batten used to tell us “don’t doubt in the darkness what you know in the light”, and so for that reason, I continue on this path.  

Why the illness lingering so long?  I do think that what Shari said last night makes sense, just the fact that I’ve had so much time to think about everything I’m involved in…are you making me rest?  It makes me feel incompetent.  Is that the word?  Disabled?  I don’t know…  I just feel like I am sub par.  I just want to be everything You want me to be. 

I’m sad about missing church today.  I love the songs that choir is singing.  You are so amazing. Why would You, the Great I AM, want to abide in me?  I just don’t get it.  Oh, Lord, make me worthy.  I know that You were so particular about the tabernacle and the way things were, I can’t help but think that you are just as particular about me being Your dwelling place.  Thank you so much for the ways that You encouraged the children this weekend at their retreat.  I love hearing how You are working in their lives.  I just desperately want them to hunger for You and live for You.

I am overwhelmed and anxious about this house and moving.  I know that You gave us our dream house, and I wonder if we are losing it because we were not faithful with it?  Chris says maybe You are giving us something better?  I love that house I saw online.  All those trees-it is beautiful.  I hope that in heaven I get to have a house located in the woods like that one.  Alaina suggested we contact them about renting?  What do You think?  Is that a possibility??  I can’t imagine.  But, I am excited thinking about it.  Lord, you know my heart and you know how I need your peace.  And to trust in You and Your plans for our life.  Not my plans.  Ugh.  Please give me Your peace.

Reading today Exodus 35-36 and Acts 10.  Please make these passages speak to my heart.  I so wish I had a better understanding of the tabernacle.  I know that there is such deeper meaning to everything, and I want to learn!

The two phrases that stand out to me in this chapter are “who is willing” and “who are skilled”.

“who is willing” is used in vs 10, 21, 26, 29, ch 36 vs 2,  and 36:6b and 7 say, ” And so the people were restrained from bringing more, because what they already had was more than enough to do all the work.”   I have opposing thoughts on this.  How I wish people in this day would be so willing to give, not only of what they have, but of their time.  How do we encourage people to get involved in serving at church?  How do we do that, Lord?  Or is it not even our job?  Maybe it isn’t.  I don’t know. 

But these words are part of the words that get me in over my head.  “who is willing”….I am willing, not necessarily skilled, but willing, and I end up volunteering for too much.  I don’t know when I am supposed to say “no”.  How am I supposed to KNOW??????   Truly, Lord, am I desperate for wisdom in this area.  I’m gonna keep asking you, and please don’t give up on me.  I feel like you’ve been trying to teach me something over these last few weeks, and I’m still not quite sure what it is.  I wish I were a quick learner.  So, please be patient with me until I get this. 

And then I read “the skill” part of all of this.  Just makes me realize that You do value skill and expertise.  I remember Elizabeth George teaching me that even an expert was a beginner at one time.  If we devote ourselves to specific areas, we will eventually become experts.  What were the four areas that I wanted to become an expert in?  I think homemaking, natural medicine, homeschooling and I think I chose godly womanhood.   I wonder if Nik would remember.  I should ask her.  What would I say now?  I think I might choose differently.  Being a godly wife would stay.  Homemaking would stay.  Natural medicine.  Ha!  Please don’t laugh at me.  I really love playing keys for worship team.  If I could choose this as an area, I would choose this.  To continue practicing and learning so that someday I would be an “expert”.  I dont’ know what I would choose for a fourth area.  Maybe something to do with all these muscles and mechanics of my body that are so disfunctional right now.  I certainly spend enough time reading and researching about it.   I wonder if the key is skilled AND willing.  I don’t know.  Something about that doesn’t sound right to me.  All my life I’ve been taught that willing is the most important thing.  And certainly the disciples were skilled at other things other than what they were ultimately called to do.  Or maybe not.  Maybe it was just taking principles and applying them to different areas.  Fishing for men rather than for fish?  Luke as a doctor-did he use his skills to minister to people as well?  Hmmmm…this has got me thinking.  What principles do I use in my daily life that I can use in ministry? 

Lord, I want to honor you with my time.  and I think my question is how do YOU want me to spend my time.  I know that first and foremost, I am Yours, and I serve You.  And then Chris, and then my children.  And thinking about that, I realize that is a lot right there.  Do I have time to play keys for church?  In my heart, I think You have put that in my.  I think that is a special place that You give me for me and You.  I love worshiping You in that way.  and I thank You for it.

There is so much in Your Word-I wish this reading plan went slower.  Lord, teach me those areas in which You have skilled me to serve.  “And He has filled Him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills” (35:3) and “every skilled person to whom the LORD has given skill and ability to know how to carry out all the work….” (36:1)

Lord, You are answering my question of how do I know?  I feel like I still need some more definite guidelines, but I believe I can look at my life and see where you have given me the skill and ability to carry out Your work.  I know that I need to set aside some more time to pray about this and seek Your vision for my life.  I think I am going to take one evening a week for the month of February to do this.  Please protect that time that I am thinking of, and make it a precious time…one that is healing and productive.

You, Oh LORD, overwhelm me.  I praise You for Your amazing and wonderful ways.  Lord, please make these words of my mouth and these meditations of my heart pleasing to You. 

 

 

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Author: Nichole

There are so many things about life that I want to share with my children, and this is simply my way to collect everything in one place.

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