My family is at church and I am here in my “new” recliner in the family room, with an aromatherapy pack over my shoulders and listening to the crackling of the fire.

I am thinking about these past couple of weeks, what the Lord has allowed and the different types of pain and healing that are going on inside of me.

The physical pain from having back surgery 12 days ago is still there. But I am taking all the measures that I can to keep it under control. As my mom told me, “be good”. Follow the doctor’s orders. Be still. Don’t lift. Make sure to ice it every hour. Don’t bend. Don’t reach. Don’t sit upright for too long.

I’m doing it. By God’s grace, I’m doing it-even when I think “well, just this once won’t hurt”. Because I know that if I do these things, the pain will eventually go away. My back will heal properly, and in time I will again be able to bend, lift, run, jump, twist, etc, etc.

Last night, I had such a difficult time falling asleep. I was in pain. My back wasn’t the culprit-it was my heart. My heart literally hurt. Though the cause of the pain is relational and emotional in nature, the pain was still great enough to be felt physically. And the thing about this pain is that I don’t know what to do to make it go away. I want a list that I can follow. An if-you-do-this-then-this-will-happen type of list. I want to know what to do to promote healing-to go back to the way things were before. I’ve done everything I know to do.

The only thing that I can do now is pray. And wait. And then pray some more. And trust.

I have heard that when a bone breaks, once it has healed the bond is stronger than it was before. Do you think the same happens in an emotional or relational bond? That once the fracture heals, the bond is stronger than ever? I pray so.

It does all boil down to one thing, though. While weak bodies, breaks, surgeries, etc are the domain of Satan and this cursed earth, strength and healing are the domain of God. Jehovah-Rappha, my God who heals.

There truly is comfort in knowing and trusting that He is a God who loves healing. If He is for me, who can be against me?

{If I could stand up right now and shout wahoo!, I would…this truly is encouraging to me! But as it is, I’m unable to get out of this recliner without the help of my dear hubby..so my heart is just bubbling out “wahoos!” and I’m standing up on the inside!}


Author: Nichole

There are so many things about life that I want to share with my children, and this is simply my way to collect everything in one place.

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