I think that this period of waiting might be the most difficult I have experienced. My hands are often shaky, my heart pounds, every time I see my children and husband, I want to hold them oh-so-close.

My doctor actually moved right away on further testing. On Friday, Dec 2, I went in for xrays…for my lower back and looking at my kidneys/bladder/urinary tract. When I went to get that thing taken off my arm on Wednesday the 7th, she let me know that the xrays showed no sign of kidney stones. So, we can check that off the list. And the little thing on my arm turned out to be a fibroma…so that’s all good.

Yesterday I had a pelvic ultrasound done, and bloodwork that checks for certain cancer markers. Tomorrow I have a CT scan. And I will see her either on Monday or Tuesday of next week to go over the results.

As the days have gone by, the pain has increased…and it only adds to the fear of “what if?” I often open my Bible and look at the words that are penned in the beautiful Book of Psalms.

“They do not fear bad news;
they confidently trust the Lord
to care for them.”
Psalm 112:7
Now, His definition of bad news might be different from mine, but regardless of what the results if this testing show, I want to be a woman who is confidently trusting the Lord.
And so I wait.
And trust.
And, yes I fear.
But I confess my lack of trust.
And then I wait some more…

Author: Nichole

There are so many things about life that I want to share with my children, and this is simply my way to collect everything in one place.

4 thoughts on “Waiting”

  1. Praying that you're lying down and sleeping in peace, my friend. I'm so thankful that your heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. I'm trusting Him with you and praying fervently. I love you.

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