Yesterday I was so very emotional…and today, as I was leaving the mall after dropping off four teenagers, it dawned on me.
I have been stuffing.
Stuffing confusion, frustration, loneliness, sadness, joy, thankfulness…this past month there has been so much going on in our life. And I haven’t really taken the time to let it out.
So, here goes…
I miss Sheboygan so very much. It’s not that I’m not grateful for what God has given us here. It’s just that I miss home.
I LOVE our new house. It actually feels like HOME. The space is wonderful. I cannot wait to light a fire in the fireplace. It gives me such joy to watch my children play in the backyard. I have beautiful plants all around the outside of the house (that I really hope I don’t kill).
I miss my sisters. I miss stopping by their workplaces for a quick “hello”. I ache to be in their homes, enjoying their company. I miss sitting face to face with them, talking and laughing (and occasionally bursting into song!)
We’ve been visiting different churches, and asking God to lead us to the specific body that He has planned for us. I am weary of visiting churches. I am so sad that I am not there to watch my “heart and soul” friend enter a new sphere of ministry with her husband. I wish desperately that I could be there for them at this time of change. I will confess that I am anxious to be settled…to know where God wants us so we can just commit!
I am thrilled about the children being able to do this charter school. And I am overwhelmed. How in the world am I going to find the time in my day to teach three children, guide the other two, plus keep up with “making” my home? Selfishly, I am scared spitless about giving up any personal free time. Will I ever scrapbook again? Will I have time to play the piano? Will I get any housecleaning done? Where do I find the support and connection with other families that I believe we need? Lord, give me a heart of trust for Your perfect provision.
A friend recommended a chiropractor that she goes to church with…I am so thankful for that recommendation. It is a scary thing to me ~changing doctors, and to have found a chiro. in the area our first week here was, I believe, a gift from God. Now to find an orthopedist to examine my broken elbow and tell me if the increasing pain is normal or not.
I cannot tell you how many times a day I thank God for the neighborhood He carefully placed us into. The ladies across the street are both sisters in Christ. Truly, I am blessed. In my heart, I want to start building relationships, but to be frank, I don’t know if I will have the time. Isn’t that a horrible thing to think? I know that God created me for relationship, but with this school year looming on the horizon, I don’t know how to balance friendship with our specific family life. Lord, please give me wisdom!
I am thankful for the knife sharpener that I found…seriously. I have really come to enjoy cooking, but only when my knives are sharp!
I am thankful that Chris’ office is only a few minutes away. The boys and I have have brought him lunch several times.
If you know me at all, you’re not gonna believe this, but….I actually got in the swimming pool a couple of times. (I was terrified when my head went under and I could hear that underwater sound that completely freaks me out, but other than that…I might just eventually conquer my fear of water!)
I have started using coupons and I am having a ball! It takes me longer to do my shopping, b/c I am hitting a few different stores, and things are a little more spread out here, but it is so much fun. I love figuring out how much I saved. And don’t worry…I don’t use coupons for things that we don’t normally get! : )
I am still waiting for a hummingbird to visit our feeder. That would make my heart oh-so-happy!
I bought my first autumn decoration today. It was on clearance at Scheele’s…and I just LOVE autumn…
I feel better…sometimes it is good to just get it out there. It didn’t come out pretty, but at least it’s out!
Thanks for helping me “unstuff”!