I have a cup of coffee sitting next to me.
One of the dogs is curled up in her kennel. The other dog is chewing voraciously on her rawhide. This is one time of day that I let her have one-so that she will stay with me and not wander off and get into trouble.
I am curled up in the chair in the living room.
I take 3 books out the little leather basket that was a Christmas present from my husband-for the purpose of holding these items.
The first book is a little devotional/journal. Every morning, I open to that day’s date and I read a short verse and a devotional by some man or woman of faith. And I journal briefly about that particular subject. Which, up to this point, has never failed to open my eyes to some aspect of my life in relation to God.
The next thing I do is open my journal. I guess it’s more of a prayer journal, as it is 98% filled with conversations with the Lord. Some of my thoughts this morning were…
~I still struggle with shame over days where I was absolutely not following in the footsteps of my Saviour.
~Why do I still struggle to trust One who has proven Himself to be absolutely trustworthy?
~I need Your help as I create a budget for this coming year. What do you want me to do with Your resources?
~Lord, what should I do about the backyard/garbage area? Clean it today? Wait until tomorrow when the garbage has been taken and the snow will have melted a bit more?
~I haven’t been sleeping well. Is it because of my aching arm, or the fact that Chris isn’t here? I will trust that You will give me what I need.
~I miss Chris.
~What is it going to be like to live in a new city? I don’t know that I am ready for that. I love where we are now.
And then, my favorite part of the day. (it actually makes me teary thinking of how much I love this) I place my Bible on my lap. The outside is purple and green, the inside has wide margins. It was a gift from a friend who knows how much I love taking notes in my Bible. One corner is chewed up (by the same dog who now gets a “chewie” (rawhide) every morning). I reach for the little purple bookmark and slowly open it to the Psalms. Every day, part of my quiet time is reading a Psalm and Proverb. And my heart is excited and anticipating what God has prepared for me on this day.
I read in Psalm 73, verses 21-28
“When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered; I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before You. Yet I am always with You; You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, and afterward You take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing that I desire besides You. My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Those who are far from You will perish; You destroy all who are unfaithful to You. But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all Your deeds.”
My heart wells up inside of me…”but as for me, it is good to be near God.” What a privelege. Thank you, thank you, thank you that You are keeping me close. Keep me on a short leash, hold my hand, don’t let it go. I am not trustworthy. But You Lord, You are. How can I ever doubt? You are amazing. I will tell others about the things You do for me.
I proceed to the book of Proverbs, and I am reminded that “better a little with the fear of the Lord than great wealth with turmoil” (15:16) and…
“better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred.”
You, Lord, call me to one thing, to seek first Your kingdom. To love you with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. And from there, You will provide. What You give us to manage, You give us to serve You. Let that knowledge guide me as I work on our budget today.
You, O Lord, are amazing. You know exactly what my heart needs, when it needs it. I don’t understand it. But I love it. I am so thankful for it.