I was asked several times yesterday about my decision to deactivate my Facebook page. I thought maybe this would be a good way to share the thought process behind my choice.
First off, this is not a matter of Facebook being “right” or “wrong” or “good” or “bad”. I love that so many people use it to connect and minister and enjoy relationship with one another. I also know that it can be a time-waster or discouragement for others. These issues are not the motivating factors behind my decision.
It feels more like an invitation.
Let me explain…
A few months ago, I was feeling very overwhelmed and distrustful of people. I was also overwhelmed and saddened by everything that is going on in the world. I was discouraged by some of what I saw and read on Facebook. I also was depending on my Facebook friends for fellowship, and was hesitant to enter into face to face fellowship with people at the church we had started attending. I also had been thinking a lot about the amount of “me” that I put out on the internet. (which is ironic since I am going to be publishing this post…)
Anyway, I decided to deactivate my account and see how it affected me. Honestly, for the most part, I loved it. I didn’t love missing out on the news that my nephew had acknowledged Jesus as His Saviour, I didn’t love missing out on family pictures and checking in on my friends, but I did love the margin that it created in my life. I love the space it created for me to think and process and stay in one place (mentally and emotionally) for a longer period of time.
I started it up again once we knew we were moving because it really is an incredibly easy way to keep people posted on what’s going on in our lives. But, I knew that I would most likely deactivate it again once we were settled.
My reasons for deactivating it are different this time.
Now that we are starting to slow down and settle into one place, the whirlwind of this past year is catching up to me. I am filled with emotions and thoughts and desires and griefs that I am trying to process. I am realizing how connected my heart is to my mouth, and how I need to learn to run my heart’s thoughts through my brain before I speak. I am tired. I am sad. I am in need right now.
We have SO much hurt and evil in our world. There is so much despair. So many horrifying events taking place around us.
There is also so much beauty. So many beautiful places that God has created. So many beautiful moments. So many opportunities to live life together. So many people to love. So many people that love us in return. There are so many great ideas on Pinterest. There are so many great recipes that I’d love to try. There are so many gifts I would like to make. There are so many ways I would love to serve.
There is just SO much.
And my heart is overwhelmed.
He is inviting me right now to simplify. To ground myself in Him. To create margin in my heart, my mind and my life.
I am not saying this is a forever decision. I don’t know what the future holds. I just know that for this season, He is inviting me to be off of Facebook and do something different. I still want to live life with the people I care about, I am just going to go about it in a different way.
He is inviting me to come with Him to a quiet place. He is leading me beside still waters.
And I want to follow Him there.